Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Party like it's 1990!

In December 1990, I was a month shy of ten years old. I had just watched the first few episodes of a brand new show called "90210," on which Dylan was and alcoholic, and was undeniably the man. The Patriots were washed up and floundering behind a terrible QB, tight-rolling was awesome, Mario Lopez wasn't famous, and I was days away from seeing my first concert ever - New Kids on the Block at the Worcester Centrum.

Fast forward to September 2008. I am 4 months shy of 27 years old. I have just watched the first few episodes of a new show called "90210," on which Dylan has been mentioned only once, but is still the man for knocking up Kelly during the show's hiatus, and is presumably still an alcoholic. The Patriots are washed up and floundering behind a terrible QB, tight-rolling is STILL awesome, Mario Lopez isn't famous anymore, and I'm days away from seeing my second NKOTB concert ever, this time at the TD BankNorth Boston Garden.


This sudden resurgence of early 90's radness has me rollerblading down Memory Lane... at that time in 1990, Rick the Model Martel had just sprayed "Arrogance" in Jake the Snake's eyes, blinding him for weeks (though he bravely continued to wrestle with eye patches taped to his face). East and West Germany had just reunited, the internet was in its beginning stages, and the Red Sox had been swept out of the playoffs by Oakland for the second time in 3 years, extending their championship drought to 72 years. To this day, Dana Kiecker remains one of my favorite names to hear Chris Lutkevich prounonce. And probably most importantly, James Buster Douglas gave America hope for a longshot union between me and Jamie Luner, after he beat Mike Tyson as a 42/1 underdog.

So what have we learned from all this? Almost certainly nothing. But it can be said that no matter how hard you try, you always end up in the same place. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's not the same place. And If I'm the only one in full 90's gear on Sunday night, may Maurice Starr strike me dead.

Snap your bracelet around that one.*

*Also considered for closing lines: "Spray your Aqua-net around that one," and "Just The Ten of Us remains the greatest sitcom of our time."

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