Jack and Jack and Coke

You spent your whole snow day making barcodes. That's Why I Dumped You.

2011-02-02T10:40:00.000-05:00

love this song...

2009-10-01T10:29:00.000-04:00

Death Cab for Cutie - Little Bribes from Ross Ching on Vimeo.

Marathon Monday 2009

2009-04-21T12:32:00.002-04:00

Pomp & Circumstance

2009-04-07T12:16:00.002-04:00

(This exchange occurred as I was effortlessly plowing through Jeopardy answers last night. Like some of you, I'm the guy who yells answers from the other room while barely paying attention, despite the silent-yet-palpable frustration of those sitting in front of the TV trying hard. )

Heather: Whenever we watch this I always think of how much you learned in high school. Because there's no way you learned all this in college.

Me: [giggle]

Heather: What did you learn in college?

Me: I learned about life.

I learned that drinking beer in the shower while getting ready to go out is the definition of liberty.

I learned no matter how many different ways you tell your buddy how terrible his girlfriend is, he has to find out for himself.

I learned that sticking with your crazy HS girlfriend while she's 3,000 miles away will ruin your first 2 years of college.

I learned that this is one of many acceptable excuses for why you stayed 7 years.

I learned that passing out onstage at the end of a show is a good way to get a speaker dropped on your head.

I learned that any discernible leadership skills you may have can be completely useless if you act like a dick.

I learned that if you happen to be involved in an ongoing investigation with the Tempe Police Department in which they try to bait you into incriminating your friend who didn't really break the law that badly, you can easily outsmart them at any turn by casually watching police dramas. For example, if you've already seen tactics like "send the hot female detective by herself" and "send the two biggest officers we have to try to intimidate the guy we're questioning" on TV, then you're one step ahead of TPD when they try it in real life. This also makes for a A+ final project in your Criminal Justice class.

I learned that frat guys are easier to outsmart than Tempe Police Officers.

I learned that when you throw a keg party and call it a "lacrosse fundraiser," karma will make sure that the ensuing police fines will often equal your exact take at the door.

I learned that if you're in a band, you don't need to go to the gym.

I learned that if your buddy cries hysterically at 3am about his broken family life after a night of drinking, that's not the last time that's going to happen.

I learned this very valuable lesson: If a girl walks into a party and is immediately dubbed "Hot Girl," the chances of her moniker changing to "Stupid" by the end of the night are strong.

I learned you can't make girls who aren't from Boston care about the Red Sox or the Patriots.

I learned that the bowl of flour sitting on top of your TV that says "Who's Next?" might refer to you.

I learned that if the candle in your homemade Rally Pumpkin burns out just as Grady Little walks to the mound, you should leave the bar (which I did, thankfully).

I learned how to spot fake boobs faster than I can identify gender.

I learned that a non-nude strip club with $0.25 beers is just as incredible as it sounds.

I learned that you can't sneak up on Vegas. You have to go in guns blazing. Don't be so naive to think that it doesn't know you're coming.

I learned that an unclaimed thong left at a party is either getting pinned to the wall or, if red, placed atop your Christmas tree.

I learned that a bar in Arizona filled with 400 exhausted and emotional Red Sox fans during their first World Series title in 86 years will begin chanting DUN-KIN DO-NUTS when they run out of players' names.

I learned that game has no camouflage. You can in fact wear sweatpants, a lotto t-shirt, and work boots to a bar and get laid.

I learned that snuggle time will always be ruined if your roommate hits his girlfriend in the head with an airborne pint glass, which ricochets and leaves a dent in the wall. You also have to pay for the dent.

I learned that a stranger who wakes up in a puddle of urine on your living room floor and can't find his pants, then heads up a 2-hour, 10-man search party that covers the entire house, yard, street and block probably should have looked in the microwave first.

I learned that microwaves can dry off wet pants.

I learned that if you yell "you don't have to do this if you don't want to" while you're hazing someone, then it's not hazing.

I learned that you will need to go to registrar's office no less than 3 times to accomplish something as simple as getting an email address.

I learned that more often than not, dressing like an idiot is the way to go.

I learned that any time you can sell a '93 Camry with no A/C and power steering that sounds like a garbage truck to three Swedish golfers who don't know what a spare tire is, for $3500, you make the deal.

I learned Bud Light + Taco Bell + liquid Nyquil = disaster in like 9 different ways.

And most importantly, I learned that it's perfectly plausible, if not likely, for your roommate to become a stripper, go on spring break in Cancun, end up on an MTV reality show, the footage for which then ends up in a documentary about out-of-control youth... which you end up watching in your Sociology class.

That's what I learned in college.

OH YOU BET YOUR F*N ASS

2008-12-17T01:34:00.000-05:00

A Christmas timeline

2008-12-08T12:51:00.002-05:00

12:38 - timmons gets the evite to Chris & Heather's WinterSlam 2008
12:39 - timmons IM's me saying its Robin's (some chick he's seeing) bday that night and he said hed go
12:40 - he emails robin
12:43 - she responds with this: If the Xmas party that you’ve known about for 5 minutes is more important than coming out for my birthday, then I really don’t know what to tell you. I’m beginning to think you are only interested in seeing me when you are drunk.

12:45 - The following guest has RSVP'd:
Sean Timmons will attend

God Bless us, everyone.

Supastahhh

2008-10-20T22:57:00.000-04:00

The now-famous Jane & Coke everybody (00:11)... Jane and Coke.

Faith Revisited (Part 2)

2008-10-16T20:14:00.002-04:00

While I don't claim to be a stats guy or an analysis guy (that stuff is better left to the experts), I'm a Red Sox guy. I'm a feeling guy. Something just doesn't feel right? We're doomed. The candle literally burns out inside the 2003 Rally Pumpkin, the very moment Pedro goes out for the ill-fated 8th? This isn't gonna end well. Something gives you that "wait-a-second...[pause]...[tingle]" moment of realization - i.e. the Kevin Millar walk, preceeding The Steal? When one of those happens, we just might have a shot.

Yesterday, as I stood in my kitchen, I overheard WEEI discussing a Tampa pitching change. Something clicked.

Wait a second. Why? Why the change? Why Kazmir? Why now? We own Kazmir.

I hope.

Or should I say... I Believe.

Faith Revisited (Part 1)

2008-10-15T13:07:00.013-04:00

So here we are. For the third time in our three ALCS appearances in the past 5 years, we're down 3 games to 1, with Elimination breathing heavily down our necks. By the 6th inning of last night's laugher, I picked up Bill Simmons' emotional circus, Now I Can Die in Peace - a collection of his daily ESPN.com columns following every insane twist and turn in October of 2004. Back then, we looked to the columns as a way to put to words the emotions we were experiencing, as we were far too delirious to explain them ourselves. Non-Sox friends would as "How you doin?" I'd simply say, "Go read Simmons today." Last night, I needed that emotional charge again.

I flipped to the part of NICDIP written just after 2003's Game 7. Felt like a good place to start. Almost immediately, everything came rushing back. I remember sitting in the back tables at Maloney's in Tempe (a bar rumored to be named after Sam "Mayday" Malone, with a distinct "everybody knows your name" feel to it) half filled with Sox fans, half with Yankees fans. The glorious "WHERE IS RO-GER?" chants still echo in my mind. We had our Rally Pumpkin perched defiantly on the fireplace under the TVs. But then, cruelly, eerily, our only candle burned out, just as Pedro's lead slipped through his fingers. As with almost everything that happened in the minutes, days, months that followed... you can't make this stuff up.

I left the bar in the middle of the 11th, knowing exactly what was about to happen. I was almost to my car when I heard the cheers from the Yankee-filled deck wrapping around the bar. I looked back at the scene, and my eyes moved up to the tiny TV hanging overhead, just in time to see Boone's HR fall into the bleachers.

There are tons of stories from that post season, but that one still haunts me. And as I flipped through the pages, Simmons brought me back. It even got a little dusty in here.

And the best part of going back in time and reading history as it unfolds? You're taken back to those emotions, nearly as pure as when you first felt them. Tingles when we signed Schilling. Swagger after the A-Rod fight. Heck I remember my exact whereabouts when ESPN radio told me Schilling might come back for Game 6 at Yankee Stadium. Screeching to a stop, bounding out of my car and racing - almost skipping- down my walkway to tell my roommate what I'd just heard - that there might still be hope. It all comes back. And as we so wonderfully learned in 2004, our current 2008 situation might not be as hopeless as it seems, as it's always darkest before the dawn. So keep ya head up.

In terms of the book, I'm at the precipice of that Yankees series. And my emotions are so great I had to write something down. So here ya go. After this I'll probably pop Faith Rewarded into the DVD player for another go-around. I watched the 2007 Official World Series DVD immediately following last night's debacle, but all it talked about was how great the Manny/Papi duo is in the post season, how clutch Mike Lowell is in the spotlight, and how Curt Schilling's heroics saved the world again. I don't recommend this video to anyone right now. Don't even bother. If you're looking for inspiration - for hope - you need look no further than Faith Rewarded and Now I Can Die in Peace. Because while most of the faces have changed, the emotions will always be there.

After all, it feels so good [so good] to believe again.

Sidenote: All this memory lane stuff brings me back to a scenario posed to me a few years ago. I had just heard from a friend that my ex girlfriend ran into Derek Jeter and newly-turned-Yankee Johnny Damon at a Scottsdale nightclub. The immediate thought that ran through my head - who of the three would I save if the building caught fire and there was only time for one rescue before the ceiling caved in?

To be perfectly honest with you, at the time the answer was probably Jeter. Now... actually ya know what? Still Jeter.
Irregardless, let's win this thing.

(More tomorrow...)

The lines are in...

2008-10-14T12:02:00.005-04:00

From: Ethan Furtek <withheld@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2008 11:56:09 AM
Subject: [blank]

I'm guaranteeing victory tonight. Print it.

From: "Cicchetti, Nicholas J" <withheld@StateStreet.com>
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2008 12:04:27 PM

Noted. I will add to the pot a guaranteed 12:15 EST end time with Wake on the hill.

Ramble-ama ding dong - 7 things I love about you, October

2008-10-01T15:30:00.020-04:00

First of all...
New Kids on the Block may well have been the best concert I've ever been to. And I was front row for Metallica at Woodstock.
Official Mathison NKOTB Facebook Photo Essay available here.

Second of all, it's October. And Mathison loooooves October. Listening to the one-game Twins/White Sox playoff through crackled radio last night had me thinking about all the things I love about our tenth month. In order to appease the Playoff Baseball Gods, here are seven.

Few things beat Game 163 (when necessary.) That White Sox clincher last night was a phenomenal game. Play at the plate, solo HR shot to score the game's only run, diving catch on the final out. Now THAT's playoff baseball. Welcome to the show, pale hose.

Sam Adams Oktoberfest. Summer Ale, it's been fun. But we're calling the closer out of the bullpen. Barkeep, sprinkle the infield please.

3. Halloween. Best holiday ever. It gloriously combines my two favorite things in the world: Drinking, and dressing like an idiot. Word to the wise for you single guys: If you wear an outfit that incorporates fake boobs (usually balloons), girls will spend the entire night grabbing them, and they will in turn ~~allow~~ encourage you to grab their actual boobs without a moment of hesitation. I don't pretend to know why this is the case. I just know that it is true. Eyeshadow helps too. Moving on.

Football is in full swing. Pats are in rougher shape than my back after 4 weeks of sleeping on the parachute full of cotton that Jane and Coke calls a mattress, but the Prep just beat Everett. Cheers to the none of you reading this. That's a fantastic win.

ASU Men's Lacrosse Annual Alumni game. Unfortunately I will be absent from said contest for the second straight year, due to my portfolio taking a huge hit in the recent stock market tumblings.* While my heart aches, my body rejoices. The alumni have lost to the now-national powerhouse Devils every year since its inception, and I still have a mark on my foot from when I was cleated 2 in the '06 game.

Red Sox Baseball. Giddy up. How much do I wanna see another thrilling championship run in this glorious renaissance that is the Boston 00's? About as badly as Fox wants to show a constant barrage of Red Sox/Rays fight montages from the last few years, throughout the ALCS.

Watching Faith Rewarded over and over agian. As anyone who was fortunate enough to read my feature interview on 95League.com with Mr. Dave D'Onofrio knows, "And there's life for the Red Sox..." remain my favorite most tingle-inducing 7 words of all time. And that includes "Here comes Hulk Hogan!" and "Let's go to Vegas."

Let's Win This Thing.

So please enjoy your apple-picking, -bobbing, and -vodka-ing. October is here.

*Actually I just don't have a job.***

***any money.

2008-09-28T22:44:00.001-04:00

summatiiiiiime

Live from NKOTB!

Party like it's 1990!

2008-09-23T14:39:00.007-04:00

In December 1990, I was a month shy of ten years old. I had just watched the first few episodes of a brand new show called "90210," on which Dylan was and alcoholic, and was undeniably the man. The Patriots were washed up and floundering behind a terrible QB, tight-rolling was awesome, Mario Lopez wasn't famous, and I was days away from seeing my first concert ever - New Kids on the Block at the Worcester Centrum.

Fast forward to September 2008. I am 4 months shy of 27 years old. I have just watched the first few episodes of a new show called "90210," on which Dylan has been mentioned only once, but is still the man for knocking up Kelly during the show's hiatus, and is presumably still an alcoholic. The Patriots are washed up and floundering behind a terrible QB, tight-rolling is STILL awesome, Mario Lopez isn't famous anymore, and I'm days away from seeing my second NKOTB concert ever, this time at the TD BankNorth Boston Garden.

Jackpot.

This sudden resurgence of early 90's radness has me rollerblading down Memory Lane... at that time in 1990, Rick the Model Martel had just sprayed "Arrogance" in Jake the Snake's eyes, blinding him for weeks (though he bravely continued to wrestle with eye patches taped to his face). East and West Germany had just reunited, the internet was in its beginning stages, and the Red Sox had been swept out of the playoffs by Oakland for the second time in 3 years, extending their championship drought to 72 years. To this day, Dana Kiecker remains one of my favorite names to hear Chris Lutkevich prounonce. And probably most importantly, James Buster Douglas gave America hope for a longshot union between me and Jamie Luner, after he beat Mike Tyson as a 42/1 underdog.

So what have we learned from all this? Almost certainly nothing. But it can be said that no matter how hard you try, you always end up in the same place. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's not the same place. And If I'm the only one in full 90's gear on Sunday night, may Maurice Starr strike me dead.

Snap your bracelet around that one.*

*Also considered for closing lines: "Spray your Aqua-net around that one," and "Just The Ten of Us remains the greatest sitcom of our time."

Giddy up. (I'm....comaaaan...out.)

2008-09-17T19:28:00.008-04:00

In an effort to start contributing more to this space, I've decided to add some much-needed [ed. note: friggin a' right] structure to this blog, effective immediately. In my desperate, 9 month search for a job, I've seriously lost sight of the fact that, no matter what I do, I'm always going to be an artist. Performing live, messing around with Photoshop, writing freestyle - these are the things that get me going. And until now, I've allowed myself to consider that artistic part of me as holding me back from getting a real job, hence I have repressed that side of me. Well NO MORE! There ya go, artistic side, [waving hands in the air, shaking head tauntingly like "oooh scary."] YOU WIN. Consider yourself embraced. Timmons would have an easier time pretending he wasn't looking forward to St. Patrick's Day.

I am now allowing myself this outlet (and a few others) to conduct my buffoonery, clear my head, find some inspiration in life, and finally make some magic happen. Giddy Up. That's what you say when you get back on the horse.

SO, blog structure from now on is as follows. The two of you reading this, take note. You can expect frequent if not daily updates on the following subjects, on the following days.

Monday: Ridiculousness
Tuesday: Sports
Wednesday: (f)Unemployment
Thursday: Music
Weekend: Wild Card

And if I think of another subject that deserves its own day, you bet your bottom dollar I'll add it to the rotation, toot sweet! Get pumped. I'm comin out, I want the world to know...

Since there's no 24 in sight...

2008-08-02T12:56:00.004-04:00

...here's the real countdown:

Also, The Shield begins airing its final season in a few weeks. If you've never seen it, there are reruns on FX every now and then. It is one of the most continously gripping television experiences I have ever had. To call it "edgy" would be cliched and understated. It's completely insane. Try it, trust me.

Sadly, I think it's safe to say (for me anyway) that our old friend Jack Bauer has taken a back seat to two of the best dramas on television mentioned above. I'm predicting we don't see Jack again until January 2010. We had a good run buddy. Don't worry, the more time you take off, the easier it'll be to forget about last season's train wreck. Everyone gets drunk sometimes and makes some bad decisions. Yours just happened to be allowing your writers to blow up Los Angeles with a nuclear bomb, and subsequently have zero reaction from the city's inhabitants. No, no no. It's cool, really. Its a stretch, but it's cool. We're not going anywhere. You'll be back someday, and when you are, we'll attempt to set up a perimeter - and fail miserably - allowing a global terrorist to run free on the streets of los angeles again, just like old times. Heck, maybe we'll even shoot some guys while we're trying to catch him, who knows?

DAMMIT!

Just some random Boston pics

2008-07-29T11:49:00.001-04:00

fOARth of July Weekend in Chi-town!

2008-07-04T14:52:00.004-04:00

I'm feelin kinda funky, kinda fine, and kinda patriotic...

Happy Birthday USA!!! Here's the view from our hotel room. We're in Chicago to attend the wedding of one my friends from ASU, who is marrying one of the members of the awesomely incredible band OAR. I have no idea how this happened. Actually, I do. Story in the writeup, next week when I get back. Anyway I'll be posting throughout the weekend, so if you're not at one of a million billion BBQ's, feel free to stop by. We'll celebrate America and love cyber-ly.

So, somehow she [Jane and Coke] negotiates a 5am checkin for the PDiddy suite with a view of the river and the downtown skyline and allegedly tonight's fireworks display. And we Pricelined it. Unbelievable. I swear to god if 3 months salary for me wasn't $600 and drink tickets...

Sweet 17.

2008-06-18T16:30:00.008-04:00

Certified!!! As I sit here remembering all the amazing things that went on last night, one moment sticks out. Before the celebration, before the riots, before the blowout, even before the opening tip, something very cool happened. 2 of my buddies picked up the Mrs. and I in Wakefield and we all headed to Sullivan Sq. to grab the T right before gametime. I didn't care where we went or what we did, I just knew I wanted to be as close to the Garden as possible, hopefully with a beer in my hand. And as we sped down 93 at around 830pm, just as the sun was setting, some clouds cleared up ahead and a HUGE golden moon hung directly above our path. I commented that it looked auspiciously like the ball that sits atop the NBA Championship trophy. So anyone driving through Boston at that moment on rte. 93 would have seen this: The Zakim bridge and Boston Garden glowing from top to bottom with green lights, a row of green traffic lights signaling things were dandy in the tunnel, the giant NBA trophy statue resting comfortably on the overpass, and a huge, full, gold moon flying just above it. Tell me that doesn’t make you feel good about your chances that evening.

As far as championship viewing experiences in my lifetime go, this one might be at the top. We barreled down a traffic-less 93 and hopped on the Orange line. A few moments later, we jumped off @ North Station just feet beneath the parquet floor and hit the streets - still without destination. My sister had been sent ahead to find a bar without a line. We failed to predict that Canal St. would look a whole lot like Bourbon St. Blocked off by police barricades, with thousands of people in the streets, every bar had a line that was so long it bled into the line for the bar next to it, to the point where it was just a complete sea of people dancing and cheering and bleeding kelly green. This felt good.

As you can see, we could barely see the game through a window, much less gain access to any of these establishments. Determined and inspired, we pressed on. When we arrived at the Point - the beginning of the miles and miles of Faneuil Hall bars, we were encouraged by the lack of a line out front. Having spent St. patty's Day 2007 playing flip cup for 12 hours with 50 friends at said bar, I liked - nay loved -the idea. Imagine my dismay when we talked to the bouncer and, not only were they not letting people in, but they had dispersed the line 20 minutes ago that had wrapped around the side of the building, because, let’s face it, anyone in the bar already wasn't going to be leaving any time soon. Onward.

As bar after bar boasted lines wrapped around each building, all increasing in size as the minutes rolled on, we were moments away from grabbing a case of beer and heading back to a small North End apartment where there'd at least be HD... An incoming call to my sister's cell phone told us that Ned Devine's - a swanky(as far as Beantown goes), cavernous, upscale Irish pub that generally rests on the pricier side - was without a line...

Let's win this thing.

We sprinted. And when I say sprinted, I mean we covered more ground as a group that included 2 chicks and a dude in sandals with a Poland Springs bottle and a laptop charger weighing down his cargo shorts than previously considered possible. This was our night.

Moments later, after speeding past bar after bar with lines that had couldn’t even be considered lines anymore (they were now crowds) and nearly knocking over numerous pedestrians, all with my shorts hanging off my ass thanks to the previously mentioned laptop charger I had in my cargo pockets for an as-yet-unknown reason, we walked into the bar as the C's scored their first 2 of what would become an unconscionable number of points by the end of the night.

AWESOME scene inside Ned's. Hopping, excited crowd - but not too crowded - just enough room for the 7 of us to comfortably carve out an area, with a waitress walking up to us every 20 minutes. Things felt good. Things felt very good. The energy was PERFECT. It just felt right. And as the game unfolded, we got happier and rowdier and high-5ier and everything snowballed into an incredible viewing experience. The Award for Biggest "No F'ing Way!" Crowd Explosion of the Night from an already-raucus crowd goes to Kevin Garnett and his standing 2-pointer from the paint that looks like a shot you could only pull off in a pool with a plastic hoop and a nerf ball and your friend would get yelled at by an adult because that kind of defense could be considered horseplay. Place exploded when that happened. Still, regardless of the ever-increasing lead, given the comebacks in this series to that point, and our penchant for heartbreak in Boston that I would have completely forgotten about were it not for a Mr. David Tyree – p.s. I still hate you - I don't think we felt safe until about 10 minutes to go. Once Posey hit his 3, we were done kidding ourselves. This Lakers team couldn’t compete with us. Not tonight, not at home, not with that crowd, not with this team, not a chance.

We ordered a bottle of champagne. It was time. We hid the bottle and the 6 champagne glasses and one wine glass. "Hehe, guess we don’t have a lot of champagne glasses!" bubbled the arguably efficient waitress with Peace sign earrings who was probably high. Her only real blunder was charging my sister for a round of beers on her credit card, then leaving it on a ledge a good 10 feet from us. Crisis was averted however, as the card was found and all was forgiven. Ignoring bar policy, we convinced her not to pop it so that we could open it as the final buzzer sounded –the way God intended champagne to be opened. 3…2…1…Bedlam. When the confetti hit the air, we popped the cork, continued drinking ourselves silly, hugged each other, high-5'd a ton of strangers, and bled out onto the streets. We were heading to ground zero - the giant NBA trophy statue outside the Boston Garden- and nothing could stop us. Except the incredibly well-organized Boston Police force in riot gear, many of whom were on horseback.

We got creative with our navigation and ended up on Canal St. where thousands had poured out onto the streets. Some people smashed some windows and climbed on the outdoor construction edifices that looked dangerously close to collapsing, and there were a few times where we had to cover the girls’ heads and run for safety, but all in all – from what we could tell, it was relatively tame, and indeed one of the best championship celebrations of this guy's young life. Thank goodness this decade of Boston sports dominance coincides with the Information Age. Without all the videos and digital pics to prove it, our kids would never believe the stories.

We won, we popped, we rioted. What a night.

Last Call: For a few more hilarious video examples of how completely insane Kevin garnett is, head here.

Boop...beep...boop...beep...

2008-06-17T11:50:00.006-04:00

It's coming...

This year's MathiSLAM features a mixed doubles bracket-style beer pong tourney. Each team will consist of one guy and one girl, and the winners will receive some sort of cash pride and a whole boatload of pride.

Uniforms are STRONGLY encouraged. Awards for best team uniforms will be handed out mid-tourney. Categories: Best Team Name; Most Over the Top Unis; and the "Too Soon?" Award for Most OffensiveRegistration starts NOW and goes right up until round 1.

Get there around 11, as the first balls will be thrown at 1:00pm sharp.

$20 per team entry fee covers all you can drink and all you can eat all day and night... Contact myself or Kate for more details.

Let's slam this thing.

Let's Win This Thing... next year

2008-06-11T16:24:00.003-04:00

[ed. note: this might sound all sportsy and professional and boobjokeless - its a writing sample for a job I'm applying to. so there ya go.]

Sunday, June 8, 2008
Danvers, MA
Billerica – 12, St. John’s Prep – 9

Three minutes. That’s all it took today for Billerica’s defense to effectively secure a win at Cronin Field, where the St. John’s Prep Eagles had previously stood unbeaten in 2008. Heading into the game’s final frame, trailing by 5, The Prep’s senior-heavy squad desperately needed a change in the momentum that had so mercilessly favored the opposition all afternoon. When a yellow hanky hit the ground in the form of a 3-minute, locked-in illegal stick penalty against Billerica, the Eagles saw their chance. But as the undermanned green-and-black five pressured relentlessly, shot after shot went, high, wide, dirt, helmet – literally anywhere but net. The Prep’s best six shooters – 5 of whom should enjoy serious time within the college ranks next fall – were held scoreless. Billerica’s defense, as suffocating as the 96 degree field temp, killed the penalty and immediately went on the offensive, firing the ball upfield to an uncovered attackman, dumping in their 12th goal of the afternoon as soon as their tenth man hit the field. The breakaway, backbreaking shot slapped a big “Maybe Next Year” on the contest with 1:17 remaining on the weathered Cronin Field scoreboard, and sent a promising Prep team home early this year.
The Billerica boys rest comfortably tonight, awaiting next week’s state championship game against the winner of Duxbury and Xaverian. Fitting, considering the former two are the only teams in the land to have beaten 2nd-ranked Prep this season, until today.

2008-06-06T15:43:00.002-04:00

The fact that I didn't write this about Vaquero's in Tempe, AZ remains one of the great injustices this heart will ever know.

Did someone say Bickford's remix?

2008-05-24T14:35:00.002-04:00

This was awesome. You're looking at the Double OT Syracuse/Virginia Men's Lacrosse Final 4 game @ Gillette Stadium today. 48,000 people at a lacrosse game. Probably one of the biggest moments in the increasignly popular sport. 10 years ago when I started playing, I had to go to a private Catholic school before I'd even heard of the game. And believe me when I say this, 50% of the crowd today was under 14 yrs old. Nothing makes me prouder than seeing the sport blow up the way it has. It's almost beyond words.

I'm exhausted after a long night, so I'll drop some more deets later. PEACE.

The Truth & The King

2008-05-18T19:01:00.005-04:00

Jackpot! We're at North Station waiting for the train after a ridiculous game 7. Pierce and Lebron put on an absolute show, scoring a combined 80-something points, mostly in each others faces. Awesome game. Awesome. We actually found face value cheap seats 20 minutes before tipoff, which is how i recommend getting tickets for everything... details in my next post.

There were a lot of "bring on Detroit" chants throughout the night. Alls I know is, I'm exhausted after this series (and the Atlanta one too for that matter). I can only imagine what it's like for the guys who wear green for a living in this town. These finishes will either start taking their toll on a veteran team, or light a fire. They came up with big shots today when we needed them, and showed a fantastic amount of hustle and enthusiasm when it mattered, and even overcame some seriously bad officiating. I'm hoping they can stay at this level. It won't be a cakewalk, but if we can do it, itll mean well for the C's.

Also of note: Someone had a "KGeeezie fo'sheezie" sign. I really enjoyed that.

Song of the Day: Welcome to the Jungle (where we are as yet undefeated)

Manny Being Ridiculous

2008-05-16T12:29:00.005-04:00

Rest assured, any time Manny Ramirez makes a "spectacular catch/high-5 a fan/throw the runner out" double play, causing Baseball Tonight to run a Best of Manny Being Manny countdown, there's no way I'm not posting it...

UPDATE: ...unless I can't. Apparently I can't post the actual video, but here's the link. ENJOY!

2008-05-14T14:14:00.001-04:00

Time of death: 2:15pm. Goodnight, sweet prince.

Launch Party

2008-05-13T21:17:00.023-04:00

Wakefield, MA
9:27pm

Hello everybody and WELCOME to the red carpet. We are coming to you LIVE from Chris Mathison's bedroom at the official Jack and Jack and Coke Launch Party, brought to you by Bud Light, the Boston Red Sox, outdated Dell laptops, and the impulsive 6 tickets I just bought for the New Kids on the Block reunion tour. Rock and roll baby.

Tonight is turning into a who's who of people who live in my parents' house, as my girlfriend just made an appearance. Adorable? Definitely. Alcohol tolerance of a six-year-old? You betcha. And she just delivered this gem, just in time to make it into the blog: "Are you losing weight? Because your head looks smaller." I embrace these things because I'm in love.

Some background on your blogger: 'Funemployed' graphic designer and frontman for promising local cover band BEARfight, graduated from one of New England's most prestigious Prep schools in 1999, then spent 7 years at the easiest 4-yr college in the country engaging in various fruitful activities like jumping off roofs naked and playing guitar at dive bars, all the while accruing a stellar amount of debt. During that time, played and coached lacrosse for the Sun Devils, posting an impressive 24-50 record. But we beat U of A. Also of note: within 18 months of Mathison's coaching tenure with the Sun Devils, the team's three female managers ended up 1)working at Hooters, 2)in Playboy, and 3)pregnant, respectively. None of which was my fault, to the best of my knowledge. Anyway, don't judge me. You try graduating from that school on time. I can give you a hundred reasons why it took so long, only 8 of which are in the photo to the right. That was that chick's actual haircut. Irregardless...

Hoping to capitalize on the wild, sweeping success of 2004's "Myspace - About Me" section and countless well-received Away Messages over the years, I'm hoping you'll enjoy the forthcoming posts as much as I'll enjoy writing them. You'll notice I spend most of my time pointing out the ridiculous things in life. To that end I could have very easily named this RidicuBlogs. But I found it only fitting to name this space after the one thing that's led to more ridiculous happenings than all the others combined, my drink of choice: The Jack and Jack and Coke.

Probable discussion topics include but are not limited to:
Live music, Day-drinking, the Red Sox, Las Vegas Nevada, High School lacrosse, words I made up, Jack Bauer, Arizona State, job hunting, The Office, the guy who runs trivia in Manchester on Wednesday nights who drives me friggin insane, and most importantly, my friends and family. Without whom I'd be drinking alone.

So drop a line, comment at will. I'll be posting my opinions which should be taken as facts, and I'll throw in some enjoyable pictures and videos along the way. I'm pretty sure this kind of thing has never been done before, so we're really breaking ground here with this 'blogging' thing. Or 'yogging.' It might be a soft B, I'm not sure.

...and here's to life.

Song of the day:
The Refreshments - Mekong